What REALLY Goes on in Corporate Restrooms...

Now yall know how I always have crazy encounters... & u know its usually men involved...

well THIS time...it was a lady

A lil background first...

In an effort to minimize my hold-ya-breath-debit-card moments, I am trying to to move outta teaching soon and move into another tax brack--oh i mean move into a more fulfilling career. So I'm a slave to this Master('s degree program) and got this internship @...oh wait, almost named the company. Forgot Big Brother is watching...& they REAL official @ this company (don't believe me? they cut a bald spot @ the nape of my neck for a hair drug test AFTER I squatted over the pee pee cup). For those of you not familiar with the highly-saturated Oil & Gas market here in Houston, oil companies are generally really great places to work. But since I'm used to having summers off to frolic and laugh @ my corporate stiff friends (hehe)...its taking some adjusting..

A part of this adjustment is about me learning office politics and procedures... and apparently restroom etiquette too (or lack thereof)

**DISCLAIMER: Please be reminded that all stories on my blog are TRUE. & damn, I wish this was fiction...

ok so i left my cube (lol) to go to the company cafeteria for a cup of ice (it's a recession yall...bottle water/soda aint in the budget)...so on my way back i stopped by the restroom.

Strangely enough, there's a business-bag-on-wheels thingy outside the door...I ignore it...I walk inside & am greeted by an invisible voice obviously talkin on the phone! The voice was invisible because said voice was sitting on the TOILET!
She proceeds to wrap up her convo & then to my great surprise/ amusement she says (to no one in particular) "I mean couldn't that have waited til I used the bathroom?" (same thing I was thinking, nasty trollop). At this point, I'm in the adjacent stall. I'm like a deer in the ghetto caught under a streetlight! What do I do? Do I respond? Was she asking a rhetorical question?

Now up to this point folks, I thought she had received a call...um..."midstream."So she finally starts doin her business...She starts peein...

(ok, JeNae's peein too...so we're good)

Then she FARTS!...Then this ho starts changing her tampon! How do I know? Cuz the little metal tampon trash can starts rattling! At this point I'm racing to the sink to wash my hands & get the hell out. I dunno what ol girl did next, but I was NOT staying around to find out!

I almost tripped over her business-bag-thingy-on-wheels on my way out...

After stifling countless rounds of laughter on my way back to my cubicle, only one question remained in my mind: Did that chick have a bluetooth?